So, so slow to change...

Consistency: I've lived my entire life putting consistency on a pedestal. Somehow, I thought that consistency and genuineness meant the same thing. Allow me to explain.

I have an eye for "posers." For better or for worse, I'm the little kid pointing at the emperor without clothes. The problem is that I hold myself to the same, sever standards. So what happens when I feel myself changing inside? When I decide that I prefer guitar to piano? Rock & Roll to Chopin? It takes me a LONG time to change because I'm cynical about myself. (This is the worst kind of cynicism!) suspicious of myself, I assume the worst, that I just want to be more "cool" or something. Just another poser.

My hero David Bowie could never have gone from mod singer to hippie to ziggy to blue-eyed soul man to thin white duke to golden boy to earthling creature if he had held himself up to the same strictures. The key is not to define who you are in terms of looks, hobbies, friends, etc. The key is to decide what it is that is most essential about you, if in fact you attempt to define yourself at all. A definition like "creative" or "compassionate" is nice, right? There are many ways to embody these things. And then you can feel free to mutate as many times as you want without betraying yourself, so to speak.