What is love?

Umm, it's a darn good thing that nobody reads this blog because this is getting kind of personal :) However, what I am about to say must be written.

Love is multi-faceted. I'm interested in discussing a facet that is largely overlooked: the selfishness of "love."

Please! I'm not hopelessly cynical! I don't enjoy reducing everything to the self, although I think that many things can be. This comes right out of my own experience...

So there's this guy...that's how every love story begins, and, in my case, ENDS. Well, when he sort of dumped me I felt awful. I almost didn't eat for a week and cried all night, just like in the movies. I thought, for a brief spell, that it was because I missed him. Then, I realized it all had much more to do with me missing who I am when I'm with him.

You see, love deifies women. It's the one moment when we feel like goddesses. (That sort of doesn't last into marriage, but, hey, at least we get it when we date.) Dating is all about men enjoying the challenge and the pursuit and women enjoying being in a position of power: the power to refuse. Plus, this guy I liked was really smart and I felt smarter being around him. I flat out LIKED the Kristin associated with this guy. So was it love, or self-love that made me want the relationship? Or some conflation of the two? To what extent is love really about loving someone else?